Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Apricot chocolate cake

Chocolate helps you slim. Yeah right???
Chocolate is essential for your mental health. Yeah right???
Chocolate keeps you fit. Yeah right???
Chocolate increases your brain power. Yeah right???

You put Kiwi green salad before a five year old and a seven year old and they will ask you all sorts of questions like, what are those black bits in that green sauce. You tell them frogs spawn, now shut up and eat it. They ask if the gherkins are sweet or sour. They ask if the Kiwi is hard or soft. They want to know why the advocado tastes sour. You tell them cos it is sulphuric acid to burn your tongue off... no not really it is lemon juice to stop it from going brown... my sweet innocent child.

They are not overly impressed with Green Kiwi salad and pick at it and have to be coaxed to finish it off by saying it is an appitizer to help get your digestive juices running for the main meal. It don't mean a thing to them. They are eating green frogs spawn soaked in sulphuric acid and nothing you can say will convince them otherwise.

There are five people at the table and a plate with six apricot chocolate cakes is placed on the table. The kids do a calculation. Five into six does not compute. If there is one piece of apricot chocolate cake left over, who would be eating that then? They have not tasted it yet somehow chocolate icing with shredded chocolate on top and moist apricot filing does not ellicit any questions whatsoever.

Is this fair trade chocolate? Does the icing sugar come from a plantation where the workers have been exploited? Has the flour been imported at a pittance and sold at a premium in the supermarket. Did you buy any of the ingredients from Lidl who subjugate their workers? Have those serving plates been bought from Ikea who are known to exploit child labour? Well if any of those facts are true, then I am not eating your damned apricot chocolate cake and you can just stuff it in that hole where the sun never shines.

No that never happens. The scheme that is running through the kids heads is that if I eat my bit of cake fast enough then I might get more. I asked Olli what was so good about apricot chocolate cake and he replied.


If only life were as simple as looking at food, and you could make instant decisions without ever tasting life's bitterness or sweetness.

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